Oct 17 2008
Talking to parents about web sites for kids
I recently received a question from a parent about how it would be best to manage and filter their child’s web site explorations at home. Here’s my response:
Sit down with your child at the computer and ask him to teach you about Webkinz and Neopets and the other sites he is interested in. Don’t take it from the position of evaluating the sites but rather from a sincere interest in learning more about them and what he is interested. By doing that you will gain several things:
- You will have a better understanding of these virtual worlds and the types of interactions that can happen in them, both positive and negative.
- You will be able to spend some time and observe his/her interactions with the games and see what aspects of them he tends towards. Boys by nature gravitate to more action-oriented sections of games where girls traditionally gravitate to puzzles and interactive environments. (Of course there are always exceptions to the rule).
- Gaming environments can be very engaging, especially if a child has a vivid imagination or tends to get immersed in things easily. Compare his game reactions to the reactions he has to movies and cartoons. Are they similar, stronger, or weaker?
- Look for common themes in the types of characters he/she chooses to play. If he/she chooses one over another, don’t hesitate to ask him why. There may be commonalities in his decisions, such as powerful versus weak, a specific look, gender association, etc.
- This may be the biggest stretch for you…but ask him/her to help you set up your own characters and take you through the world. Aside from it being good quality time you will be establishing credibility with him when it comes time to execute parental control on worlds and places he should not be entering. Do not hesitate to try the sites he is visiting on your own when he is not around. The more you learn about the sites the better off you will be.
- Check in with him. Every so often ask him/her how his characters are doing (make a point to learn the character names and the names he/she gave them).
There are systems available that can be used to filter web sites from kids (we use one at the school called OpenDNS [http://www.opendns.com] that is free and provides a great deal of control at the machine level. However, no technological solution can replace building the understanding between you and he as to the types of things you consider appropriate and not.
The sites he/she has identified so far are known kids sites and many have protections in place for child safety. (Gaia is targeted for PG-13 so I’d recommend against that.) Most sites that draw kids will have some sort of parental information available easily from their home page.
He/she will want to explore and try new things, that is a given. Working with him/her is the best solution in preparing him/her to be responsible as he/she grows on the internet. I equate it to when he/she starts to drive. The driving lessons will be invaluable since at some point he’ll have to leave the parking lot.
Comments?
I’ve been quiet for a long time about this topic but I can’t any longer. Read the posting below and then I’ll comment…